me

關於我的二三事信箱。留言隨手貼。aNobii 書架堆積木。

2016/07/08

The day before

The rain when it came was almost a relief
Loud but stuttering
Hesitant promise of a storm to come
Something swirling out there
Twirling in here
Both brooding, both at sea
And in between charts must be consulted
About clouds, currents, fronts and depressions
How the wind may blow
How the stars ascend and align
Supernatural contraption or divine intervention
To form, reform and transform the world
You wait, then wait some more
The rain falls, and falls again
Never on the right spot
Never at the right moment
The story of your, their, our lives
So when will...?
Or is it all...?
Suspended in the borrowed hour
Almost but not quite
Half-hatched dreams and stillborn darkness
Nothing has happened
Everything has passed

2016/06/30

The night is my refuge

The night is my refuge
A dark place easily within reach
Where I go and hide
Burying my head after Sandman passes through
I loiter in the long quiet corridor
Inspecting every speck of dust
Tiny beginnings of a spider web
Hints of some unseen draught, perhaps?
Never a glance at the faint light in the doorway
And if you curl up on your side
The corridor becomes a well
The little patch of sky almost out of sight
Almost reassuring
Distant possibility like a waking dream
Safe in the collective shadow
You pretend to forget your own
While it feeds on itself and grows
Every night
Every day
Between the familiar devil and the deep blue sky
An ache I've known so long it's turned phantom -
No longer sure if it's really there -
The simulation of an illusion, or vice versa
So I stay up and stay down
As the day seeps in and washes over
Inevitable and indifferent like ocean waves
Leaving all exposed and exhausted, again
And again


2016/06/14

非典型六月

雨從天亮之前開始
細涼無聲一如悄悄掩至的黎明
低著暗著
一個暫避白晝的彎道,不久也
轉過去了
而你被夢逼上路肩
那些陌生的傷害和死滅
如此虛幻如此切身
某種滲透睡與醒的濕氣
你翻身,挪枕頭
蓋被掀被開關風扇
以各種角度橫在床上像壞掉的指針
無怪混亂的讀數紛紛浮現
關於你和你的和不是你的
(而這三者要區分有時如此困難)
同時雨仍在下
擾亂的,安撫的
彷彿再不會結束
不會結束該多好/多糟
你回到那個轉角
關掉雨刷
只看玻璃上潺潺扭動的水流
透明模糊,輾轉反覆
可以是一天
可以是一年


2016/05/22

Requiem

Such a long, long day's journey into night, my dears
The night I have sent you into
Is the deepest purest black
So final, so unrelenting
That it now seems almost tender
Certainly tempting
An indifferent siren humming to herself
As I let go and crash into the waves
Fathomless embrace where no light escapes
In defiance or defeat I can no longer tell
Perhaps it doesn't matter after all
One life or ten
A dozen or a thousand
Let no other be the sad accountant
Tracking then losing each and every one of
All those betrayed and broken
Thus I take my leave
Haltingly, in agony
Eyes longing and shadow lingering
Like too many before me
Softly, softly killing and killed
Unheard unseen unanswered unclaimed
Sinking away into uneasy sleep
Dreaming a billion stolen heartbeats
Until we become the same smoke, the same ashes
Scattered to the same endless winds


2016/05/13

Theater of cruelty

Somewhere in the dark they hurried and shot him
He with a death wish
They with a license to kill
Proud and sneering they swept in
In stealth and in ecstasy
Obtuse and single-minded like the bullet
Stone grey like the morning he would never see
As we cheered on, tasting blood
Chorus and spectators
Eagerly watching, waiting, warning
Wanting it to happen
Wanting it to just go away
But not before everyone's had their fill
Of sound and fury
In our very own theater of cruelty
So let us destroy and disown him
An outrage, a freak
An inconvenient message
Devil ex machina
No explanation given nor needed, except that
If there is a gun on stage it must be fired
And this they did, no questions asked
No questions left
For we have found our answer, the only truth
In the final act
Primitive ritual, classical catharsis,
And modern sensation rolled into one
Cheap shot for expensive thrill
On which we are drunk
Full house, standing ovation
Exuent omnes
While the only one remaining, the only one sober
Is the one they took out
He whose madness began it all
He whose violence becomes us so


2016/05/09

不存在的屋子

方舟拆毀了是因為
我們已經來到應許的新世界嗎
飛出的鳥就像射出的箭一去不返
沒有帶回任何枝葉或種子
同時我們的花園整片消失
樹籬連根掘倒,盆栽摔碎
留下無用的座標指向
揮發空白的過期地圖
那麼只能開始步行了嗎
在這個沒有海洋
沒有陸地
沒有前後左右
腳下甚至沒有自己影子的地方
所以要到哪裡去呢既然
不剩任何東西證明你確實或曾經存在
除了那些夢——
毫無章法
來自所有方向
並非記憶但無從遺忘
一片片撿起,無可奈何而小心翼翼
單向流動的流沙時計
一片片掉落,沉沒
敝舊的玩具
破損的唱片
那麼多不得不的漫長告別
一片片船難殘骸
奇形怪狀,斷續綿延
再也停不了的雨
再也不會結束的旱季


2016/05/06

Sister Revolution

事隔多年和革命再度不期而遇
她有些疲憊顯老但依然驕傲
高顴骨,斷掌似的濃眉
粗硬黑髮照舊紮成麻花辮
我們沒說什麼
只交換一個加密的淡薄微笑
我嘆口氣知道自己畢竟是她的姊妹
打小失散從未相認的那種
當然一如任何姊妹我對
她挑選男人的眼光頗有微詞
他們年輕,飢餓
Viva la Rrrrrevolución 打著舌熱烈愛撫她的名字
自信滿滿談論各種令她慾火焚身的姿勢
其中有些人真心有些人會背叛
某種雞兔同籠
豬羊變色
通吃各家紅心賺取黑桃和方塊的博弈或搏擊
她聳聳肩不以為意
轉身投進另一個懷抱
另一場燃燒
許多人死了,還有更多人將死去
愛她的,恨她的,不巧路過的
她理理凌亂的衣襟
回瞪你眼神放蕩又苦行
她不要什麼
她要你的一切
當一切說完做盡
遠方傳來凱歌和哭聲
她舔舔傷口,綁好頭巾
快步離開她的巨大雕像與更巨大的影子
扔下一朵玫瑰鐵蒺藜
走向下一個事件,世代,或世紀
似曾相識
不期而遇